We have fleas! Those fucking useless shitty gravied chunk guzzling kittens have brought them home from the cat hotel where they’ve been lazing around for the last couple of weeks. Despite dripping them with toxic anti-flea medication before and after, several suspicious little black things jumped off my leg yesterday. “You’re obviously not very nutritious” said a friend of mine who obviously doesn’t have fleas so felt compelled to give me advice and laugh at me. I wanted to send him a few in an envelope. I bet, like cockroaches – cat fleas would survive a nuclear holocaust.

ARRGGGH!!!!!!!!!!! Even as I type this, having sprinkled powder everywhere, boiled bedding and vacuumed (all while the BOY snored in bed) I’m itching.

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