There’s a Frog in the Kitchen

What am I gonna do
There’s a frog in the kitchen what am I gonna do?
I’m gonna teach that frog . .

Actually what I did was scream like a girl and hide. For God sake. The poor frog crouched froggily in the hall, eyes flickering from side to side, while through the glass of the kitchen door, two furry faces pressed up against the glass. ‘Pick him up mummy’ said The Girl, helpfully, from her vantage point of half way up the stairs. I did the next best thing. I ran up the stairs and woke The Boy who was extremely grumpy. ‘There’s a FROG in the hall!’ I whimpered. ‘Yeah I know’ he mumbled, crawling stinkily out of his pit. ‘It was in the kitchen last night so I put it in the food bin.’ In the food bin?! Meanwhile the cats were scratching at the kitchen door like the floating vampire children in Salem’s Lot.

Eventually after a lot of bad language, I persuaded Frog to jump into a large bag and took him outside to the front garden. I think I convinced him that the alternative was being tortured by two nasty cats with bad breath. ‘Frogs are meant to go near water and grass!’ shouted The Boy. ‘You put him in the food bin’ said The Girl smugly. So I put Frog out the front and gave him a bowl of water. I can only hope he doesn’t get toad away.

2 thoughts on “There’s a Frog in the Kitchen

  1. We had a squirrel in our kitchen. Took my husband 20 minutes to catch the blighter. It ran up and down the counter top hurling crockery at my husband, which he dodged, so it smashed. My 5 year old stood outside looking in through the kitchen window shouting, ‘catch him Daddy’ – very helpful. The poor squirrel, who must have been terrified, poo’d everywhere. Revolting! And worse than the five year olds party!

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  2. Ha! Although apparently squirrels are the skinheads of the garden – right little bushy tailed bullies. One of the little sods bounced up to me in the park, took a piece of bread out of my hand and then bit me!

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