Walking past Space NK yesterday (honestly even the name hints at pretentious – overpriced ness. Its full name is Space NK Apothecary. Apothecary! Like a combination of Witchcraft and early Harry Potter.) Still it’s no good me scorning since I invariably go in and admire the insanely overpriced produce. I’ve managed to resist for a long time. But yesterday I was feeling a bit frizzy and lumpen.
Any girls out there with wavy hair that goes all foamy in damp weather will know what I mean. We are forever in search of the Holy Grail – the product to calm the frizz into a tumble of luscious curls and we will pay practically anything to get it.
So Space NK had this little corner devoted to a New Product by ‘Living Proof’ which according to the saleslady was ‘flying off the shelves’ and salespeople never lie do they? So basically I paid £18 for a 4oz bottle of leave in conditioner. I’m an idiot.
Still it’s better than last time when buoyed up by a drunken lunch I bought a ‘lip plumper’ (I’m blushing as I type this) the price of which I’m not going to tell you because I’m so embarrassed. It made my lips sting like a bastard. It didn’t make them plumper just really sore and scabby. I might as well have squashed an angry wasp over my mouth. At least it would have been cheaper.
Confession number two. I started smoking again. Yesterday I caught myself squashing out a cigarette then eating a nectarine. As though the toxins from the fag would be somehow nullified by eating a piece of fruit. But I am going to give up. I’ll be a frizzy haired clean lunged grumpy moo. Do you still fancy me? Thought not.