Tag Archives: The Girl

Why are we more protective of daughters when our sons are far more likely to be victims of criminal violence?

It’s half term so my daughter (12) and a close friend of hers (13) are both staying with my boyfriend and I in Manchester.  The Girl suggested a trip into town with her friend – let’s call her Molly, and … Continue reading

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Bus stop Burgundy

The male hairdresser next to me who was busy primping and joshing his client laughed and said, ‘I call that Bustop Burgundy because I see so many elderly ladies with that awful colour.’ We then had a very cheering bitch about the fact that burgundy didn’t suit Cheryl Cole who is utterly gorgeous but not even she could make that colour look anything other than straight out of a box of Superdrug Mauve Mist or whatever they call it. Continue reading

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Crash helmets to protect you from life’s knocks

I’m talking to a friend about roller skates.  Not the carefully designed ergonomic ones of today, complete with full body padding accessories but the seriously dodgy ones of my youth.  Held onto the foot by a single strap of leather, … Continue reading

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Bad Sex

The Girl is nine.  Ex brings her home after a week’s holiday just in time for school.  Have you noticed?  Have I noticed what?  What? Apart from the fact she now has dreadlocks after spending approximately 150 hours a day … Continue reading

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The Opposite of Love

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money, and divorce a matter of course. ~ Helen Rowland I fret about how The Girl will cope with going from living in a large house (with her dad … Continue reading

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When you can’t find your kid it’s the worst thing in the world

The Girl and I are staying with The Bear in a small village outside Manchester.  It’s the kind of place where after a couple of days, shop owners use your name and ask whether that nasty rash is any better. … Continue reading

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The Bear and The Princess

There was a letter in the Guardian recently – a woman who was wavering about moving her boyfriend in after he once shouted at her six year old son.   ‘He has a fiery temper’ she said, which sounds much … Continue reading

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One in Four Women

Occasionally I get strange emails from companies who say things like: Hey Jane I really am like your blog and read it most times before going on to breathlessly inform me that they wish to offer me a great online … Continue reading

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Let Me Spell That For You

So it’s The Girl’s birthday soon and she’s setting about organising her party with the social fervour of Paris Hilton. ‘Oliver has to come.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because he’s my boyfriend mummy!’ Cue rolling eyes. And that’s where it starts. I say … Continue reading

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